The Beginning of Lasts and Not Much Longers

I have a feeling this is going to be a year of 'lasts' and 'not much longers'.

Now that J is a senior, Dave and I are acutely aware that our family is on the cusp of change.

Don't get me wrong, I'm excited for J.

I imagine her standing in front of a huge picture window looking out at all that could be her future.

We've been talking about colleges, travel, things she'd like to see and do.

We've also been talking through her fears, nervousness and feelings of uncertainty.

She has so many hopes and dreams, and I have so many hopes and dreams for her:

• I hope she moves through life with her eyes and heart wide open.  

• I hope she allows herself to see and experience as much as she can. 

• I hope she opens herself up and gets to know people, and not be afraid to let people get to know her.  

• I hope she remains curious about life and keenly interested in others.

• I hope she develops deep, meaningful friendships that nourish her soul.

• I hope she remembers all who love her, and the gift of truly loving them back.  

• I hope she keeps little sis K always in her heart.

• I hope she finds joy and fun in the little things, wherever she goes.

I find myself becoming more wistful as the days go by.  Like yesterday.

Last night, the girls declared themselves in charge of dinner.  Dave and I were banned from the kitchen so we decided to play a card game at the dining room table. The girls brought us coffee and Dave and I spent the next 30 minutes in a spirited game of Phase 10.

I won the first phase but Dave went out before me in every round after.  By the end, I was two phases behind.  Somehow, Dave always manages to beat me at this game.

We had fun and I was a good sport, although I may have insinuated a couple times just how lucky it was that he had so many wild cards in his hand.  I know, petty, but that's okay.  We both can handle a little light-hearted trash talk.

Our dinner was leftover soft shell chicken tacos from two nights ago.  Jackie reheated the chicken and beans and made a pot of rice.  Kate washed and tore fresh lettuce leaves, and then made pancake batter for herself.  The two chattered away while listening to their favorite tunes on Spotify.

ELO's Mr. Blue Sky is a current favorite, along with Cherry Bomb by The Runaways.

They even treated us to songs they knew we liked, like Bittersweet Symphony from the Verve and November Rain by Guns N Roses for me and an REO Speedwagon song whose title escapes me for Dave.

It's moments like these that send me deep in thought.

Although they can bicker like the best of siblings, K and J are pretty tight.  They dissolve into giggles for no reason.  They sometimes finish each others' thoughts.  They laugh at the same silly vines and memes, you know, the ones that adults roll their eyes at.  They still get excited at movies and popcorn.

I sometimes wonder which memories they will hold on to, and which will fade away.

Will they, as adults, still enjoy making dinner together?  Will they one day say, hey, let's pull up our old Spotify playlist?

Will they go on road trips together to see the places they talked about growing up? They both talk of traveling to South Korea some day to see where their Uncle B and I were born.

What will be going through their minds?