The Family Journey: 17...Dancing Queen

J turned 17 recently. I know, it's hard to believe, especially since I am only 25.

Last night, we had a late birthday get-together for her with our beloved Nanni at Portillo's. It was a lot of fun. The food was good, but mostly I loved watching Nanni with the two girls. She has been there for them from the get-go, through everything. The milestones, the ups and downs of life, the silly times, the not-so-silly times. She takes such delight in these girls and has loved them fiercely since the beginning. For our little family, Nanni has been a bastion of unconditional love, the impact of which we cannot express into words. As the girls get older, their relationship with Nanni will evolve even more and someday I imagine them ringing her on the phone, separately, to take her out to lunch, or to meet up for coffee, or to catch the special Dr. Who movie....and nothing would make her happier.

As for J, she loves telling people that she is now the Dancing Queen. You know, from the Abba song:

You are the dancing queen

Young and sweet

Only seventeen

Dancing queen

It makes me laugh every time she says this not just because it's funny, but because it's clever, cheeky, impish. It encapsulates who she is at this moment in time.

This girl of mine, we're so much alike in so many ways, yet so very different in others. We're equally stubborn and sensitive, which means we often butt heads and drive each other Crazy (yes, note the capital 'C'). But you will just as easily find us dissolving into fits of giggles from our own silliness. She's an impish teaser. She can make me bust out laughing just by wiggling her eyebrows a certain way, and she uses this knowledge to her advantage in 'serious' situations.

In a word, she can be delightful. It's a description teachers often use on report cards, or how others sometimes describe her, but this year I've truly found it so. Yes, there are the trying times and the standard, uphill parent/daughter squabbles regarding her room, helping with chores, realizing her own potential, overreliance on electronics, etc., but the silly, sweet moments far outweigh any of the other stuff.

She's still slightly reserved in many social situations so not everyone gets to see this side of her. Sometimes I wish she would let her guard down more, so more people could see the real her, but then I remember that everything comes in its own time. For now, her tribe is small but loyal. And I'm grateful.

Other things:

...she loves cooing over cute kids, especially babies.

...she loves going to the mall in part to ogle (and possibly pet) the cute puppies.

...she loves discovering new music. On her playlist now is Alanis Morissette.

...she loves classic things. Seriously. For example:

current favorite car: red VW Beetle convertible (sorry old love Corvette)

current favorite Pinterest/Etsy/Ebay finds: vintage or vintage-inspired tea sets

period dresses in any Jane Austen movie, specifically, the dresses worn by Emma in the 2009 BBC adaptation (the one where Jonny Lee Miller plays Mr. Knightley)

loves classic rock and shares a love for the Beatles with her dad, including the Beatles parody movie, The Rutles

loves Monty Python movies (a love she also shares with her dad and, recently, with little sis)

loves Jane Austen novels and movies (shares this love with me! Yay!)

...she is developing a love for almost all things French. I'm so grateful for the two wonderful French teachers she's had in high school. They've helped open her eyes to French culture, French cuisine (note: she did not fancy frog legs or escargot in Paris last year), cinema, fashion. She even switched her phone to French settings. She is in 3rd year French but this semester her French teacher asked her to be the TA for her 2nd year students. Ouais!

...she loves musicals and has introduced K and me to so many different types. One of K's favorite songs is from Phantom of the Opera. J introduced us to the magic of Lin Manuel-Miranda's Hamilton and I would say for a good year or so we had the Hamilton soundtrack on repeat. Her grandma surprised her with Hamilton tickets last year. I should have videotaped her reaction. They caught the show in Chicago, just the two of them, and they had a really wonderful time.

...she and her friends love to sing. This year she was part of a fun barbershop quartet with three friends and they knocked their rendition of "Under the Boardwalk" out of the park at competition this winter.

...she is a loyal friend and has loyal friends. Middle school and high school can be so trying. She's found a small group of friends who seem to really get each other.

...her favorite home-cooked foods are:

Pasta y Fagioli soup (Cosimo & Susie recipe)
Tomato orecchiette salad
Chicken parmesan
Grilling by dad
Dad's meatloaf with brown sugar/ketchup glaze
Macaroni and Cheese (Kraft, Pasta Roni White Cheddar Shells and Cheese)
Any desserts by Grandma or Megan
Grandma's lasagna with Grandpa's sauce
Mandu

...her favorite drinks are:

Mountain Dew (regular & Baha Blast)
Twinings black tea
Apple Juice (Martinelli or regular Martin's Supermarket brand)
Ginger Ale (Canada Dry)

...her favorite snacks are:

Popcorn
Brie or camenbert cheese and crackers

...she has a renewed interest and zeal for cooking and baking. She and little sis love to watch the cooking shows on the Food Network, like Chopped or Cupcake Wars.

...her favorite actor (I would say) is Tom Hiddleston (I think she has a thing for Brits).

...she is really good at creating things with her phone. I think this is generational. I'm sure all of her friends are the same. But she literally created a poster for a class project all from various apps on her phone. And it looks really professional! I'm gonna try to get her to teach me some of the stuff she knows. ;)

...she is AMAZING at voice impressions. Seriously! She gets tired of me asking her to please do her Julia Child voice again but, I kid you not, it cracks me up every.single.time. She cracks her friends up, too, so it's not just me being biased. Ask her to do her Delores Umbridge impression -- or better yet, Umbridge's mother or Voldemort -- from A Very Potter Musical (a musical parody of the Harry Potter books). She will surprise you. It's hi-lar-i-ous.

...she sometimes calls me 'Mierma' in a Russian accent -- usually when she wants something and is trying to soften me up -.-

And, finally, her "favorite" quote from me (often my response when she asks me for yet another thing):  "I birthed you, I'm pretty sure that's enough."

Somehow I'm always met with eye rolls when I say this.

J, if you ever read this, all these things and more make you so very interesting and delightfully fun. Stay true to yourself. Laugh as much as you can. Let things go. Choose love. Forgive. Avoid perfectionism. Dream, but then take action. Fail fast and often so you can learn what worked and what didn't. Embrace growth mindset versus perfection.

And, finally, take to heart the words of the comedian, Jim Carrey:

"My father could have been a great comedian, but he didn't believe that that was possible for him. And so he made a conservative choice. Instead, he got a safe job as an accountant, and when I was 12 years old, he was let go from that safe job and our family had to do whatever we could to survive.

I learned many great things from my father, not the least of which was that you can fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love."