And then it was 4 years later...

Why do all of my posts start with, "I can't believe it's been 'x' many months since I've last posted..."

My name is Kari, and it's been 2 years since I last posted (and even then it really wasn't me, it was my daughter).  I first started this blog nine years ago when my youngest was two and a half.  She's now eleven.  My oldest was in 3rd grade, and she's now a junior in high school.  I recently rediscovered this blog and read through all the entries with both girls.  I thought they might be bored, but they LOVED reading about the little versions of themselves.  I so wish I had kept up this blog through the years, even if only a post or two a month.  The memories I could have chronicled....the daily laughs I could have memorialized.

Sigh.

I questioned whether I should restart this blog.  I mean, my kids are getting older.  They are more private.  I'm more private.  My kids love the stories of themselves when they were little, but now...?

Even though they are older, one day they may like looking back at snapshots of their current day selves.  This blog might help fill in some blanks or add a richness to their lives...documented from a different perspective.

So, here I am.  Let's start with yesterday.

Yesterday, my oldest knocks on my bedroom door where my husband and I are talking and asks for the recipe for the Tuna Fish Casserole we were going to have for dinner.  "I'm going to make dinner tonight. You and Dad rest."

She was quite adamant about making dinner herself, so I reeled off the recipe.  Before she left she asked if she could make Dave or I any tea or coffee.

It's moments like these when Dave and I realize that our girls are, in fact, getting older.  J brought me tea in one of the fancy tea cups she scored at a local thrift shop, and brought Dave a cup of steaming coffee.  I didn't know until later that she and K were having tea downstairs as well, using the teapot that K got from Grandma.

It was so nice.

Dinner was delicious.  I washed the dishes.  We watched the first Harry Potter movie (Sorcerer's Stone) and I'm sure I annoyed the girls with how often I exclaimed just how very little and cute Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson were in that very first movie.  But I'm a mom.  I couldn't help thinking how much the actors have grown since, and how both my daughters have grown right along with them.

I have been trying very hard to establish a nighttime routine for myself, similar to the routines I had for the girls when they were little.  I'm trying to unplug at least 30-60 minutes before bed, and to read a little before turning in.  I have been reading Grit by Angela Duckworth.  I caught Angela Duckworth's TedTalk on how a person's 'grit' is a much more accurate predictor of success than talent or passion.  Her findings are based on scientific studies and years of analyzing extremely high achieving individuals.  I'm only a third of the way through, but her findings give me hope that anyone can achieve their self-defined notion of success if they are willing to put in the targeted, purposeful practice/training/work over years of time in furtherance of their goals.  I'm sure I'll write more about this book in coming posts.

Today

Are fish net gloves okay to wear to a Catholic school?  K, my youngest, had a dress down day today.  She came down looking super cute in her rainbow colored skirt, long gray tee and knee-hi white socks.

And then there were the blue fishnet fingerless gloves that went to her elbows. You know, the kind Madonna made super popular in the 80s.

Between you and me, K looked really cute in the gloves, and I could tell she felt they made her outfit.  But I had one of those 'mom' moments.  I didn't want to squelch her funky sense of style, but I also wanted her to dress respectfully.

"Are you sure you're allowed to wear those to school?" I asked. "You know, 'cause it's a Catholic school and all?"

"What's the matter with these gloves?" replied K. "How are they not appropriate?"

She had a good question.  Was there anything that could be inherently disrespectful about fingerless gloves?  Possibly the fact they were fishnet...?  But she got them at Claire's at the mall--a store specifically designed for tweens.

In the end, K wore the gloves to school.  I warned her that if the gloves became a distraction for her at school then she might be asked to take them off.  If she wore them just like she wore her socks or her shirt, then I couldn't imagine a problem.  She happily understood.

The entire time I was having this conversation, I was reminded of all the crazy things I wore to school.  Boxers and t-shirts...yep.  Long underwear under cut off jean skirts...yes.  Sweatshirts with the collars cut out so I could expose a bare, tank-topped shoulder...yes.  In the era of Madonna and Michael Jackson, I sure did don those fishnet hair ribbons and rocked the one fingerless glove look along with the rest of my friends.

The difference is, K's friends don't necessarily dress like her, but she doesn't care.  She owns her style.  And to me, that's what's truly cool.

K, I hope you always follow your own style and embrace being you. You have some really lovely, silly, giggly, crazy, LOUD ;), imaginative, sweet, and fiercely loyal friends who get you and love you for who you are.  Keep them close.  They are your tribe.  Be for them what they are for you.

Remember, friendships, even super close ones, will have ups and downs, but with the right nurturing they can be your friends for life. 

And at the end of the day, it's the relationships you form that will bring you the most happiness.

Life can get crazy, and sometimes you will slip and fall.  You may sometimes feel as if you've forgotten who the "real you" is.

When that happens, just cling tight to your tribe.

We will pick you up and help you dust off your crown.

We will remind you.

XOXOXO,

Mom